My experience has been that there are three big interrupters of relationship success:
Most of our waking time is spent at work. Many of us bring work home either in a brief case or in our minds. The work and life balance between spouses can only be achieved through great effort and at a cost. Many of us must pick between more income or a happy relationship at home.
When the work day is done, what little time is left is often dedicated to parenting. Lost in the equation is the relationship between partners. Like the choices we must make about work, we need to make the same choice about our children. In order for the relationship between partners to survive and prosper, each partner must choose to allocate time to the partnership. Relationship time will always be limited and should be treated as a precious.
3. Other People:
In-laws, family and friends all have opinions about each partner in a relationship. These opinions can be very disruptive to the relationship. Frankly, these opinions are often very disruptive to the restructuring that must take place after a relationship has broken-up. When in-laws, family and friends start to distract us from our relationship goals it is important to put a stop to this. We live with the severe consequences of a relationship failure while the in-laws, family and friends simply have another thing to opinion about.
Family mediation is an excellent way to by-pass a system that for years, has had judges make rulings for families based on their own sense of what is right and fair, and based on precedence that is, in and of itself, subjective and case specific.
The new Family Law Act which will come into effect on March 18, 2013 emphasizes the value and great potential in family law mediation.
Under the new Act, section 8 (2) sets out that the professional must:
• discuss with the party the advisability of using various types of family dispute resolution (which is now a defined term in the Act) to resolve the matter, and
• inform the party of the facilities and other resources, known to the family dispute resolution professional, that may be available to assist in resolving the matter.
Under the current Family Relations Act, the court cannot impose mandatory mediation on separating couples. However, the new Statute not only encourages dispute resolution by defining it in the Act, but gives the court the right to impose mandatory mediation in certain circumstances.
It is time for families to maintain control of their destiny with the assistance of trained, neutral, third party mediators who can assist in creative, legally sound solutions for separating families, in less time and for a fraction of the cost.
Section 18 of the Child Support Guidelines provide a mechanism by which the Court can include as part of a payer’s income the retained earnings in a corporation for which the payer is a shareholder, director or officer.
The Court may be most likely to do this where the payer is a sole shareholder or director. The Court can carry out a similar analysis for spousal support.
The Court should not include in the payer’s income monies needed to maintain the value of the business as a viable going concern or funds in reserve for a proper business purpose.
From the payer’s perspective, if monies are retained by a corporation make sure there is a good reason and proper documentation. From the recipient’s perspective, have a look at the corporate finances as well as the payer’s income tax returns.